Good News!

So I have lost touch with this blog a bit, but I think it's actually a good thing. The main purpose of this blog was to remind me that although things are rough sometimes, my life is still very, very good. Well I feel like the past few months have just been good and I have not needed any convincing. This has all culminated in what we found out in early November.

I'M PREGNANT!!!!

I do hope to keep this blog going if for no other reason than to just be able to look back on my life and remember all the good things, but we will see. One thing I do know is that I definitely want to remember everything about my pregnancy and hopefully I'll be able to share it with the baby someday. So in the meantime, if you would like to follow my pregnancy journey, you can do so here:

http://www.babyvogt2011.blogspot.com/

Sunny

I don't really know where to start this post, so I guess I will just start from the beginning. There are many details that I could include here, but really it doesn't seem relevant to the story, so I guess I'll just start with the point that I was feeling a bit lonely, and I had always loved cats, so I decided to adopt. I was 23 and living with my parents at the time. My mom and dad said it would be okay for me to bring a cat into their house as long as I took care of him, so I started searching the local animal shelters. This search started in January of 2004. I went to all the different Humaine Society locations here in St. Louis but couldn't find any cat that would meet what I was hoping for. I wanted a kitten and I wanted a male*. Little did I know, there was a little furball who had been born, but was not quite ready to be adopted yet. Thank God I was patient and I waited!

In February of 2004, my mom and I went into the APA of Missouri. There were 4 kittens just released for adoption. And there he was. Sleeping in a heep next to his brother and 2 sisters. I knew at that moment that this was my kitty. They opened up the cage and I held him for the first time. His claws sunk into my shirt as he "screamed" in his high pitched little 'meow'. I filled out all the paperwork and paid for him to be declawed and neutered (poor guy!). I could pick him up in 2 days!

I couldn't wait! I decided to name him Sunshine. I picked the name because I had just moved home from Milwaukee. The sun does not shine much in Milwaukee winters and I decided that if I named him this, I'd be able to take my Sunshine with me anywhere I go. So he became my Sunshine. His full name is Sunshine Superman Schulte (Triple S) Better known today as Sunny. In that 2 day wait, I actually made a CD for Sunny**. All the songs on the CD said Sunshine or Sunny in it. And YES, the song Sunshine Superman is where he got his middle name and YES it is on the CD.

The day finally came when it was time to pick him up. I had to work that day, so my mom and Aunt Doe went to pick him up. Mom called me at work and said, listen to your baby. He was screaming again and his cute little meow was so high piched! I actually thought there might be something wrong with him and that he would sound like that forever***! I came home that day to the sweetest kitten with big green eyes and HUGE ears . . . take a look:



Luckily he grew into those ears - hehe! I would still love him no matter what!

That night I had him in my bedroom. He was so sad and confused that night. He had been taken away from everything he knew in his short 8 weeks of life. His paws were sore from the declawing and I'm sure he was a bit traumatized from the neutering as well. I tried so hard to comfort him but it was so hard. Eventually he settled into bed with me and slept in my hair. I'll never forget the loud purring sound that he made that night it was the BEST!


(this was on my Birthday a week after he came home)

Things were going along fine and I looked so forward to coming home from work to play with my baby. Then in May of 2004 THIS happened (warning - I go in a bit of detail about what happened to me on May 7, 2004 - If you can't handle it, please don't click - at the same time, I'd like for people to read it if you think you can handle it).

After that, it was just Sunny and me. I was so down I can't even describe it . . . although I'm sure you could imagine. But Sunny somehow knew this (don't animals just have a 6th sense about this?) and he was by me all through it. He was the only thing that made me smile throughout the whole thing.

Matt and Sunny have quite the funny relationship. We started dating in July of 2004 when Sunny was 6 months old. Again, animals KNOW! He HATED Matt and guess why . . . BECAUSE he knew that this was the person that came over right before his mom left him for the evening. It was so funny. He totally snubbed Matt every time he was over! He's gotten over it by now, but I don't even live with him anymore, so I guess that's why****.


(Look at Sunny totally ignoring his Step Father - this was the day we got engaged)

Sunny and I have been through so much together and if anything ever happened to him I would lose it. Which is what I did yesterday. My mom called to let me know that Sunny was throwing up and now she can't find him. The last time someone said these words to me, I never saw my cat (Flight - the one I grew up with) again. I just cried and prayed and cried and prayed again! I thought I would never see him again. My baby, my Sunshine!

Praise to the Lord that my Dad found him! Even better, he found him Alive! He IS sick so were not out of the woods yet, but my parents said that he is so much better today! He's going to have to go to the Vet for a few more tests, but I'm praying that everything will turn out okay.

So that's the story of my baby my sweet, sweet Sunshine Superman. Through this ordeal I've also realized that I'm not the only one who loves Sunny. The neighborhood kids actually made signs for Sunny and hung them up all over the neighborhood. The last line of the sign was - "He's a very sweet cat." He's so good with children and adults. I am so lucky to be his mom!

Rest up Sun Sun! Mama loves you!




*This may sound weird, but I've had 2 female cats in my life and they were both very mean cats . . . all the male cats in my life have been total sweethearts! Maybe coincidence, maybe not, but I was not willing to take the chance!

**Okay, it was for ME!

***It only lasted a couple months.

****When I moved into my house, he didn't do well. And can't stand to see anyone or anything suffer. Plus my mom wanted him too and all the neighborhood kids missed him, so I let him live with his grandparents.

Post Surgery

A lot of people have been asking how I'm doing. It's nearly 8 weeks post surgery and I can honestly say that I'm feeling SOOOO much better! It still feels "weird" but in general I really can't complain. The pathology came back and I am officially cancer-free! Woo Hoo!

I have been overwhelmed by all the love that my family and friends have shown me during this difficult time! I have received countless meals, flowers and gifts as well as many many prayers! I attribute all these prayers to my miraculous recovery. I was supposed to get an expander put into my breast after the doctor removed the skin and tissue. But when I work up from my surgery, it was quite the surprise that my breast surgeon was able to save enough skin that my plastic surgeon was able to place the "perminent" implant in immediately. This saved me from having another surgery later this year! Woo hoo!

Some picutres from my surgery day:

This is in the pre-op registration - no, I don't look nervous at all, do I???? HA!



Here is one of me in pre-op when they started my IV etc. Cute gown huh? Really though, the gown is pretty cool. It has a little attachement that hooks up to it and pumps hot air right into the gown. I didn't need it this time since it was nice and warm outside but when I had my December surgery, you better believe I had that thing blowing so much that I looked like the Stay Puff Marshmello Man (too bad we don't have pictures of that!):


Here's one of me with the BEST breast surgeon EVER - Dr. Yazdi:



I told him after this picture that I hope I never see him again . . . He agreed! (All post-op appointments are handled by the plastic surgeon).

I had many visitors after I finally got into my room. The first were my mom, dad and brother, James. James tells me that I told everyone in the room that I had an implant - not an expander - and no one would believe me. He also said that I didn't really care that no one believed me, apparently I just wanted some drugs - I have very little recollection of this.

Here's a picture of me post-op - if I look out of it, well that's because I AM:



Erin and Gerry also came by to visit me! Erin brough Ted Drewes! Matt liked to make fun of all the meds I was taking. Here is the picture of my nightstand from when I came home from the hospital:



Before I had this surgery I hated what I called "the M word" (aka mastectomy). I hated it so much that no matter what, if the word came up I would cry. People asked what I would be needing after my surgery. I had no idea, I'd never had a mastectomy before. So I started researching on the computer. I found a lot of very helpful sites that included things like button up pajamas, special bras, soft clothes, etc that would help me in my recovery. But I also came across a coupld t-shirts. In order to find these t-shirts, I had to type "the M word" into the search engine. When this shirt came up, I was cracking up! It was the first time the word Mastectomy was actually funny to me! Here's the shirt:





The other t-shirt I bought that made me laugh (sorry, no pictures!) says across the chest, "Pardon our appearence while we're under construction." It even had a construction sign on it!

As I mentioned above, I received so many thoughtful gifts. I cannot even tell you how many meals I received. It was so nice! Most of the meals were consumed when I was on some pretty strong medications, so we didn't get any pictures of me at that point in time. But Matt really takes advantage of it when he can take pictures of me. I told him I wanted some pictures of me eating one of the meals for my blog. And in natural Matt fashion, he went over board.

I'm cooperating here:



Giving him what he wants here:



Still going with it here:



Officially annoyed:



Guess which one Matt likes best? Yep, the last one!

So that's pretty much how things were in the weeks after my surgery. Things have been relatively normal now (except that I broke my foot!) I'm so lucky to have so many people in my life that care so much about me!

Today's Wonderfuls:

• All of my great family and friends
• Prayer warriors
• I'm cancer-free!

. . . And We Danced

If you ever happen to see Matt and me at an event that there is dancing involved, we will most likely not be dancing together.  If we happen to be, either he is drunk, or I just layed some some sort of thing upon him that makes him feel really guilty (does it make me a bad wife that I remember EVERYTHING?)  It's not really because we don't llike to dance, but more so because of  the fact that neither one of us has any rhythm.  We are horrible dancers!  Sometimes we can shake it off but other times, not so much . . .

Today, it just dawned on me that Matt has willingly danced with me (by his choice, not mine - although I do not mind at ALL - I LOVE it!)  every May 2nd since the day he proposed to me.  It also dawned on me how many dances we have had in my/our living room . . . 

A little background - Matt proposed to me on May 2, 2007.  He prepared a delicious steak dinner for me that night and served me a bottle of wine that he had saved from one of our first dates (we had been dating for 3 months and went on a date to Hermanhoff Winery) . . . Oh and he also gave me a kickass diamond - not that any of that would have changed my answer to him . . . shhhh, don't tell Matt!  Anyway, this was all prepared for me at my house.

After the proposal, many phone calls and our AWESOME dinner, Matt took me into the family room and  . . . We danced.  He had a playlist going (that he had put together especially for that night) and he just took me in his arms and we danced - and NOTHING ELSE MATTERED.  We were so freakin' giddy at the time.  I will never forget that night! 

When we were planning our wedding, I suggested a "daring" song for our first dance.  I wanted to dance to Queen's "My Best Friend".  Then Matt mentioned to me that he really wanted to dance to Bobby Darrin's "Beyond the Sea".  He clearly gave a convincing enough argument because that is indeed what we danced to on our wedding day.  I DID tell him that we would have to take dance lessons because that is not one of those songs you can just "sway" to.  He agreed.  So we danced - many times in a dancing studio with Elena (our dance instructor) - but also many times in my (soon to be our) living room practicing for our wedding day.  And as we danced - NOTHING ELSE MATTERED.

Then, of course we danced on our wedding day, May 2, 2008.  It was almost magical to me.  I can remember every moment of it.  I remember looking at Matt and actually saying to him as we were dancing, "Wow, we're actually doing this!" - AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERED.

A year later, on our 1 year anniversary, we ate brunch out on our patio, had a lovely dinner at the Tenderloin Room and then headed back home to eat our 1 year old wedding cake.  It was surprisingly delicious!  (we think we need to be hired on by ziplock to do commercials - I think ziplock is the only difference between ours being good and others' being bad - just saying). Anyway, after we devouered cake and smashed it into each other's faces (since I wouldn't let him do that on our wedding day), he took me into the family room  . . . and we danced - AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERED.

Just a couple weeks ago, Matt and I had our 2nd Anniversary.  I was gone for the weekend and things were a bit hectic.  We couldn't find our gift card that would allow us a lovely dinner . . . after many tears and lots of searching, we found it!  So after our wonderful dinner at Ruth's Chris (thanks to Uncle Thos!) we came back in the house.  Soon after we walked into the house (the music was going already) a song from "It's a Wonderful Life" came on. (from the title of this blog you may know that that is my favorite movie ever!)  It's the song that was playing when George came "home" from the bank raid right after he got married.  Mary says, "Welcome home Mr. Bailey."  That's the song that came on.  We were in the family room, and Matt took me into his arms . . . and we danced -   AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERED . . . at that time . . .

It was a beautiful moment until a nice little jazzy number came on afterward.  As if on cue, Matt and I unveiled our internal "Elena" moves and started doing the East Coast Swing that we learned for our wedding.  It was fun until Matt tried to turn me.  For a moment we had forgotten about the cancer and the mastectomy and the implant and with one lift of my right arm and a big OUCHHHHH!  The moment was over. 

Sad that it ended like that . . . but I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we were able to actually forget about everything bad in life . . . if even just for that moment.  I will never forget all of our special dances, especially the impromtu ones in our family room.  Even though it ended how it ended this year, I know I have many more years to dance with Matt . . . because of the pain I have gone through.  If someone gave me the choice, I'd go through all this pain over and over and over again - if it means that I get just one more dance with the love of my life.

Today's Wonderfuls:

• If you really don't know, please read above again . . . I'm thankful to be alive . . . I'm thankful to have such a great husband . . . I'm thankful to have TIME . . . time that most cancer patients aren't awarded.

Here are a couple pictures of us dancing on our wedding day:

Anniversary Dinner Recap

Hello All!

As promised, here is Matt's guest post recapping our conversation at our anniversary dinner. The only thing we regret is that our camera is still being fixed, so we don't have any photos. You know that all you would have gotten though is a bunch of pictures of delicious looking food that we already ate and that you don't get to eat - hehe! Without further ado, here is how our conversation went - a la Matt:

...thanks, Caitlin! This is my first guest blog post so I hope you enjoy.


"The 2nd Anniversary Recap"

We decided to posts this recap to give everyone a look behind the curtain of the life of Caitlin and Matt. In addition to all of the mushy, romantic conversation standard with anniversary celebrations we also tackled some of the most important issues of our time. The following is not intended to “funny” but you may be left with a strong sense of intrigue as to what makes us who we are, or you could be board out of your mind and contemplate suing us for your five minutes back. Read at your own risk…

Caitlin and Matt ordered a bottle of wine, a first for the young waiter, who had spent hours practicing with a corkscrew and never the chance to open one for a customer, but the excitement waned after learning the bottle was a twist off.

Caitlin claimed her successful breast surgery was a miracle and that she was well on her way to becoming the first, Saint Caitlin. Matt disagreed this constituted a miracle worthy of sainthood; Caitlin explained the intercession of faith.

The food order was switched, posing the question, does the order or the placement determine your meal? Are you obligated to switch or can you have order’s remorse if the creamed spinach looks/tastes better than the steamed broccoli?

Safety was discussed when the debate of at what age would you take your child to an expensive restaurant led to whether throwing a temper tantrum is kind of like treading water, and which is a more strenuous activity; the buoyancy factor of fresh vs. salt water was considered.

A discussion of implant awareness led Matt to admit he has been mildly successful at growing breast in recent months, and whether Caitlin can feel the presence of her implant without touching.

Important topics like, are the pearly gates really made of peals or is it just pearl colored paint? And, does Saint Peter still use scrolls or has heaven gone digital? They also discussed the whether heaven like a country club, God has to be absolutely sure you’ll wear the blue blazer with the silly crest on it.

Mr. Belvedere’s official title on the 80’s sitcom, Mr. Belvedere, was he a butler or many (male nanny)? Also, did he wear a maroon blazer or was a more like a robe?

Matt dared Caitlin to eat a mint leaf and she did it, as did Matt per the dare. Caitlin then revealed that she and cousins ate mint leaves at their Grams. Matt concedes the bet but considered filing an official protest due to Caitlin’s lack of disclosure about her past mint eating escapades.

Two Years Ago Today . . .

Was the best day of my life:





I love you Matt!

Happy Anniversary!

P.S. Later this week Matt is going to guest blog about our Anniversary Dinner. It was quite an interesting and random conversation we had after spending all weekend apart. He's much funnier than I am, so he has volunteered to write all about it. Stay tuned!

13 Days of Fun Before the 13th (continued)

I was really tired as I was posting last time, so I had to quit. I am FINALLY off all the "hard" stuff (Morphine, Percocet, Valium . . . and sorta Vicodan - I still take that at night time!) Anyway, I suppose I left off on day 11:

April 10:

Day 11 started out pretty boring. We cleaned, and cleaned and cleaned. Number one because I knew I would be out of commission for a while and I didn't want everything to go to sh*&. Also, because I have allergies and I really didn't want to have swollen eyes and be sneezing in addition to all the other pain I would be in. So we cleaned and it was a success. All the laundry was done (my mom would still have to do a few loads before I healed) and the dust was cleaned up (Matt would still have to do some dusting before I was healed). But it was as complete as it could be at the time.

That night we went to a benefit trivia night. The proceeds went to a charity that is very near and dear to my heart especially because of what I went through on May 7, 2004. (P.S. Read at your own risk . . . also, if you read that, please read more of that blog. I plan to get it going again once I am feeling better about my current situation).

Anyway the cause for the trivia night was for The Angel Band Project. Please read here to learn more about the Butz's story. Buy their CD if you have the means. The proceeds will all go to here. As I said, I plan to start back my other site again soon, so all this information will be posted there too. But honestly this is a silent crime . . . NOBODY talks about it! Please support rape victims. If you are in the St. Louis area, I also like to donate to the Women's Resource Center. I cannot tell you how much they have meant to me over the years!

Ok, so back to trivia night. We had a GREAT time! Our table consisted of my mom, dad, Sarah and Tim Peniston, Aunt Lisa and Uncle Darell and Matt and me. We actually did quite well coming in 4th place (Thanks to Uncle D who is a music master!) Here are some pictures from the night:

Uncle D, Aunt Li and ME!



Mom, Dad and Me:


Sarah, Tim, Matt and Me:



Tim decided to build a tower:



And Dad decided to wave his cell phone to the music during intermission:


We also met up with some old friends from CJA:
(Amy, Me, Karen and Sarah):


It was a great night for a great cause!

April 11:

Day 12 - I told Matt that I wanted a Steak 'n Shake date. You know, like in high school?? He will never eat in there with me so I decided this would be the perfect opportunity. We woke up and went to 11:00 mass and then headed straight to Steak 'n Shake. He took me to the original one which I had never been to despite the fact that it is right by our house. It was nice. We had a normal conversation and of course I was talking to all the little kids next to me (for those who don't know, I LOVE children!) Anyway, there was a little boy named Camden and he had a 7 year old sister named Jade. I was smiling at them and talking to them a bit, then our food came so the conversation ended. Matt and I finished eating and suddenly I cracked! I mean CRACKED. I just stared at Matt in the face and said, "Oh my GOD! I cannot believe they are going to cut off my boob in two days! It will just be GONE!" The tears came and wouldn't stop. Matt found me a clean napkin and I cleaned myself off. I heard in the background little Jade saying, "Mommy, why is she crying?" Poor Jade! I hope she can stay so innocent . . . sadly I know that can't happen. Anyway, after I cleaned up with the napkin, I looked at Matt and asked how I looked. He just smiled at me and said, "You look beautiful sweetie, but maybe you should wear my aviators home." (I know, I married well!) He took me home and told me I don't need make-up and had me take it all off. Then we were off for "Family Day." (Mom and Dad have us over every Sunday for dinner, we call it Family Day.

And then I got to see the "other" love of my life . . . my handsome and perfect nephew Will! We played in his grandma's pond for a while and got to spend some good quality time together. I love Will so much! I CAN'T wait to have my own! Here are some pictures of us playing with the pond and looking at the fish.









Is that enough pictures of Will? Didn't think so . . .

Look at those beautiful BLUE eyes (sorry, couldn't quite correct the redeye in the right one):


And this is what his Grandpa Ray calls his "Tough Guy Face":


Oh man does that boy make me smile!

Oh yea, and clearly I am a terrible mother, because I forgot to include a picture of me with MY baby! Here's my little furchild, Sunny:



(I know, he looks just THRILLED to pose for a picture with his mama . . . you should see him when I brush him though . . .)

April 12:

DUM DUM DUM . . . DAY 13!

April 12th happened to be opening day at Busch Stadium. Long before we even knew this was all going to happen, Matt's sister, Elizabeth and her husband Jason gave us a wonderful Christmas gift of tickets to opening day! It was the first Opening Day game I had ever been to! Jason promised me some pictures (since our camera broke) so I plan on updating this soon with opening day pics, but for now just know it was a great send off to my right breast. It was a lovely day and we had a lot of fun!

Todays Wonderfuls:

Quite honestly, these 13 days really were wonderful. I realized how many people really care about me and love me. I also realized how supportive my husband is and that he really meant that vow he (we) took when we got married - In Sickness and in Health. But I will elaborate more on this in my next post because as much as these 13 days meant, I have been WAY overwhelmed with what happened after the procedure. More to come I promise . . .

Oh,and if you are reading this, can you please just send me a little hello or hi in the comments section. I mean, I am doing this mostly for myself, but I'd like to know if anyone else is looking at this. Thanks! Love you!